Valerie
Those Three Words
11 06 12 21:43
You think you know what those three words are, don't you. After all, I'm the guy that got married last month and has only posted one blog entry since. You're probably thinking that I'm about to wax eloquent on those three wonderfully powerful words, I love you. You're wrong; for better or worse, those are not the three words I had in mind. (Nor, for that matter, are better or worse.)
Pretend you were there 36 days ago. It was a serious moment. We were reciting our vows, pondering the meaning of what we were declaring to one another when those three unexpected words appeared. But you need some background.
Valerie is a minimalist; she really likes small and simple and is radically committed to downsizing. I, on the other hand, have a much more normal approach to stuff. (At least it seemed normal to me.) If I acquired it, it must be good, and if it is good stuff, it must be worth keeping. It will help you understand the difference between us if I tell you that the dominant topic of conversation over our first lunch was how many books I had. It was not a topic that I brought up! We've had a lot of subsequent conversations about stuff (mostly my stuff since Val has much more ruthlessly freed herself from accumulated clutter than I have). It's become one of those ongoing jokes between us.
At least I thought it was between us. Then I heard those three unexpected words that I was being asked to repeat: ...forsaking most stuff.... Forsaking most stuff??? How did that get into the vows? Even though it was a very small wedding, it didn't seem to me to be a good time to argue. So I didn't; I gulped and made a promise, hoping that there was enough wiggle room in the word most.
It is hard and time-consuming, but it is a promise I intend to keep. It turns out that those three unexpected words that showed up in the vows are connected to those other three words -- the wonderfully powerful ones that I mentioned earlier. In this new season of Malcolm's life, forsaking most stuff is just one more way to say I love you. ♥
Pretend you were there 36 days ago. It was a serious moment. We were reciting our vows, pondering the meaning of what we were declaring to one another when those three unexpected words appeared. But you need some background.
Valerie is a minimalist; she really likes small and simple and is radically committed to downsizing. I, on the other hand, have a much more normal approach to stuff. (At least it seemed normal to me.) If I acquired it, it must be good, and if it is good stuff, it must be worth keeping. It will help you understand the difference between us if I tell you that the dominant topic of conversation over our first lunch was how many books I had. It was not a topic that I brought up! We've had a lot of subsequent conversations about stuff (mostly my stuff since Val has much more ruthlessly freed herself from accumulated clutter than I have). It's become one of those ongoing jokes between us.
At least I thought it was between us. Then I heard those three unexpected words that I was being asked to repeat: ...forsaking most stuff.... Forsaking most stuff??? How did that get into the vows? Even though it was a very small wedding, it didn't seem to me to be a good time to argue. So I didn't; I gulped and made a promise, hoping that there was enough wiggle room in the word most.
It is hard and time-consuming, but it is a promise I intend to keep. It turns out that those three unexpected words that showed up in the vows are connected to those other three words -- the wonderfully powerful ones that I mentioned earlier. In this new season of Malcolm's life, forsaking most stuff is just one more way to say I love you. ♥
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One Month Later...
06 06 12 20:30
It was a life-changing day. It's been a month since Valerie and I began this new chapter of our lives as a married couple. You probably weren't there for the ceremony; there were just nine of us that gathered for that sacred event - an intimate crowd if there can be such a thing. We gathered at the home of a retired pastor-friend who had joyfully agreed to officiate. (In an attempt to limit the crowd even further, Val had earlier asked me if I could officiate at my own wedding; not only is that not legal, but I would have messed it up!) We're grateful for the folks that shared that day with us.
There is a profound simplicity to a wedding ceremony, and taking the kind of simple approach that Val wanted helped us focus on what was truly important. We shared our vows (more about vows in a later blog; there was an unexpected moment there...), exchanged rings, and celebrated communion with our family and friends. We want Christ to be consistently central in our lives and relationship.
We signed the certificate, and took a few pictures. Then it was time to change and head for the dock to embark on a cruise to Alaska. The cruise lasted a week, but I think there is Biblical precedence for the honeymoon lasting a year. (See Deuteronomy 24:5; it might be my new favorite verse.)
People ask us where we are going to live. The short and blunt answer is that we don't know (though that is not the answer we give at the border). We're looking for a condo in the Seattle area, but we already have one in Abbotsford, BC. So for the time being and until we figure out which side of the border will be "home," we're doing a lot of commuting.
So here we are one month later. We're still smiling (a lot), we're still marveling at what God has been doing in our lives, we still don't know where we're going to live, and I'm finally rediscovering the blog. It's a good life!
I've Been Distracted
03 03 12 21:19
I’ve been distracted. The blog has waited patiently for an update for too long, and I’ve been too distracted to pay it much mind. Sometimes being distracted is a bad thing. Some of the students I taught were easily distracted when they needed to be focused. That kind of distraction was not good – for them or for me. But sometimes being distracted IS a good thing. Very good.
I’ve been distracted, and it is very good. She is a Canadian retired missionary named Valerie. I first met her 43 years ago, and then promptly forgot that she existed for the next four decades. Through a friend who was forwarding my email updates to her, we reconnected. Over the last several weeks and months, and with no intent that a romance might develop, we began to realize that God was doing something quite unexpected in both of our lives. And so this spring we will be married. It’s okay; you are no more surprised than we are.
So that’s why I’ve been distracted. If you’ve missed the blog these past several weeks, I’m not terribly sorry, because some distractions are good. Very good!
I’ve been distracted, and it is very good. She is a Canadian retired missionary named Valerie. I first met her 43 years ago, and then promptly forgot that she existed for the next four decades. Through a friend who was forwarding my email updates to her, we reconnected. Over the last several weeks and months, and with no intent that a romance might develop, we began to realize that God was doing something quite unexpected in both of our lives. And so this spring we will be married. It’s okay; you are no more surprised than we are.
So that’s why I’ve been distracted. If you’ve missed the blog these past several weeks, I’m not terribly sorry, because some distractions are good. Very good!