December 2010
We Wish You a Mellow Christmas
Our big Christmas dinner was aboard a Waterways yacht on Christmas Eve, sailing Lake Union and Lake Washington for almost three hours. It was a delicious meal, elegantly served, that lasted almost as long as the cruise. Harp music, which both Suzanne and I enjoy, filled the boat. It got even better half way through the cruise when the harpist moved from her location in the lower salon bringing her harp upstairs and setting up next to our table. It didn’t take long for the musician-to-musician conversation to produce an invitation for Suzanne to try her hand at the harp. (Could there be a harp in her future? Maybe...)
Christmas Day was quiet and at home by choice, the wildest moments coming as the cat tried to unwrap the catnip gift that Suzanne had wrapped for her. A Christmas jigsaw is a family tradition, and Suzanne just finished this year’s version, she being much more talented than I at recognizing the relationships between the pieces. It has been an intentionally mellow Christmas, and it has been very good indeed.
Matt and Joan are with the Lord whose name Emanuel means God with us. The God that they are with is the God who is with us. Relaxing in His presence makes for a great Christmas.
Mellow Christmas, everyone!
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Feline Disorientation
The cat is disoriented. I suppose one could argue that that really isn’t anything new. Disorientation seems to be a normal feline state. I remember many years ago in the kid phase of my life that our family had a kitten that mastered the art of walking backwards before it became proficient in walking forward. We would watch the silly beast proceed (or would that be recede?) across the room until she backed into something. (What can I say? It was the 50s and I was easily entertained.)
But I digress. The current source of disorientation is missing furniture. A sofa and chair disappeared to be reupholstered a couple of days ago while the cat was sleeping. Somewhere around 80% of the cat’s life is spent sleeping, a fact that occasionally makes me jealous. The other 20% is mainly occupied with eating, playing, meowing, and disgorging hair balls at inopportune times and places. When the cat awoke and headed for food, she immediately noticed the missing furniture, forgot about eating (I think she has feline ADD) and tried to meow the furniture back into existence. She does not understand why this plan did not work.
Lyle Schaller in one of his books likens the smallest American church congregations to cats. They are highly independent, cute one on one, have great difficulty with change, and hiss and scratch in groups. Some of my friends who pastor cat congregations know what Schaller is talking about; have you ever tried to baptize a cat? The basic problem is that cats by nature resist submission. They believe that they are the center of the universe. Sadly, the people that cats own often reinforce that belief.
The furniture will be back, the cat will recover, and the optimist in me hopes that she will resist scratching the new upholstery. Meanwhile, she is disoriented, and though she doesn’t like it, that might be a good thing.
Lord, please keep me from being too much like the cat.
With Apologies to Clement Moore
‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through my mind
was the certain conviction that I’m in a bind.
I haven’t gone shopping, and what should I buy?
We don’t need more stuff, not a scarf or a tie.
But gifts are important; I know that it’s true;
so I want to find something that says I love you.
If I was omniscient I’d know what to give,
but instead I’m bewildered; my mind’s like a sieve.
On Target, on Costco, and on to the mall;
I just might find something – or nothing at all.
I missed cyber Monday; black Friday is done
I need inspiration, and I’m finding none.
This poem’s not done, I’ll continue to rhyme
‘cause it’s not Christmas eve yet, I’ve still got some time....
Who Cares?
12 12 10 21:33 Filed in: Reflections
Christmas is just two weeks away. I know; you didn’t need the reminder. Black Friday and CyberMonday aside, I haven’t finished my shopping either. (Well, actually I haven’t started it.) But we are in the midst of the season for better or worse, and the chances are it has been better and it has been worse. It is for me a good time to be retired. If Christmas is busy and stressful for the average guy, it is more so for the pastor. In our culture everyone struggles a bit to maintain a proper focus on the meaning of Christmas; pastors, of course, get to help everyone else struggle as well.
I found myself thinking about pastoral Christmases while trying to find a late-night Christmas Eve service. It surprised me to discover how many churches have either no service or one only in the early evening. Before it became irritating, I remembered some of my own pastoral Christmas Eves where time with my own family was sacrificed for time with a congregation. We made that sacrifice willingly, joyfully and without resentment, but now I was glad for the pastors whose Christmas Eve schedule was a bit more relaxed.
They give a lot. And in our consumer-oriented culture, we take a lot (including, often, our pastors for granted) and we don’t much care. Perhaps we should. Your pastor doesn’t need much, but he could use your prayers and your encouragement. He could use them in January and February and beyond as well. This Christmas, how about giving the gift of caring for those who care for you?
I found myself thinking about pastoral Christmases while trying to find a late-night Christmas Eve service. It surprised me to discover how many churches have either no service or one only in the early evening. Before it became irritating, I remembered some of my own pastoral Christmas Eves where time with my own family was sacrificed for time with a congregation. We made that sacrifice willingly, joyfully and without resentment, but now I was glad for the pastors whose Christmas Eve schedule was a bit more relaxed.
They give a lot. And in our consumer-oriented culture, we take a lot (including, often, our pastors for granted) and we don’t much care. Perhaps we should. Your pastor doesn’t need much, but he could use your prayers and your encouragement. He could use them in January and February and beyond as well. This Christmas, how about giving the gift of caring for those who care for you?
The Annual Epistle
08 12 10 22:29 Filed in: Grief Notes | My Life
It usually doesn’t take a week and a half. Usually it’s easier. I briefly wondered if this was the year to abandon the custom of sending a Christmas letter along with the Christmas card. I’m a writer; I’ve been writing these letters for more years than I care to admit, and most of the time, I’ve enjoyed it. But something in me didn’t want to write this year’s letter.
The “something” is called grief. I’ve never much liked Christmas letters that recited a list of the year’s tragedies. Christmas, after all, is a good news time. I’ve always tried to be both honest and upbeat in these epistles, but this year I have a problem. The dominant event in the Brewer year was Matt’s unexpected death. Processing loss and being upbeat don’t always fit well together, and the memories seem too precious to reduce to paper.
I considered my alternatives. Perhaps I could simply recycle the 2007 letter, written just a month before Joan passed away. Nope; that wouldn’t work. That letter focused on “the right time,” and I’ve had a few serious discussions with the Almighty this year about timing. Maybe I should follow the example of some of my thriftier friends and simply not send Christmas cards, but then what would I do with this pile of photo cards I’ve already purchased? Besides, the postal service needs all the business they can get. Then again, maybe I should just suck it up and write the dumb letter! (Suck it up? What does that mean, anyway?)
Sometimes grief needs to be embraced, not because I like it, but because it is the only way forward. And so yesterday, I wrote the letter, and it is not dumb. It’s a bit shorter than some, but somehow there seems less to say. It will be in the mail soon. My grief, I suppose, will gently intrude on my family and friends, and I am not sorry. After all, they are my family and friends.
The “something” is called grief. I’ve never much liked Christmas letters that recited a list of the year’s tragedies. Christmas, after all, is a good news time. I’ve always tried to be both honest and upbeat in these epistles, but this year I have a problem. The dominant event in the Brewer year was Matt’s unexpected death. Processing loss and being upbeat don’t always fit well together, and the memories seem too precious to reduce to paper.
I considered my alternatives. Perhaps I could simply recycle the 2007 letter, written just a month before Joan passed away. Nope; that wouldn’t work. That letter focused on “the right time,” and I’ve had a few serious discussions with the Almighty this year about timing. Maybe I should follow the example of some of my thriftier friends and simply not send Christmas cards, but then what would I do with this pile of photo cards I’ve already purchased? Besides, the postal service needs all the business they can get. Then again, maybe I should just suck it up and write the dumb letter! (Suck it up? What does that mean, anyway?)
Sometimes grief needs to be embraced, not because I like it, but because it is the only way forward. And so yesterday, I wrote the letter, and it is not dumb. It’s a bit shorter than some, but somehow there seems less to say. It will be in the mail soon. My grief, I suppose, will gently intrude on my family and friends, and I am not sorry. After all, they are my family and friends.
The Tree and Me
Somewhere in this 40 acres of trees is the right one. Somewhere there is a tree that will call out to us, “take me!” (well, not literally, but we will know). Last Friday was our annual find and cut a Christmas tree excursion. It was a good day for tree hunting, which is to say that it was December in Seattle and nothing wet was falling from the sky. Tree buying used to be easier and far less interesting: Find a local tree seller, pick something reasonably green and reasonably fresh (a tree, not a person), and take it home. A couple of years ago we started a new tradition by cutting our own from a 40 acre tree farm on the top of an Issaquah hill. It’s a good tradition, but you don’t want to know how many trees will fit in 40 acres.
It didn’t take us too long to find the perfect tree. It was a grand fir, the right height, attractive from every side, and pruned to a perfect shape. But it wasn’t calling loud enough. We noted its location and kept looking. Then we heard it; more accurately, Suzanne heard it first. It was a Fraser fir calling out to us. And it needed to be cut. It was encroaching on two adjacent baby frasers whose healthy growth would be threatened if it were not removed. The tree farmer had put it on sale; marked for destruction, one way or another it had to go. It seemed a bit less than perfect - untrimmed, rough edges, lumpy, but with character - sort of like me. And so we left the perfect grand fir standing and chose the fraser.
Tonight Suzanne is decorating the tree. No longer for sale, it is ours, it is beautiful (and becoming more so), and we are glad. It stands in our living room as a silent reminder of the miraculous grace of Christmas. I am less than perfect; I was marked for destruction; and God, who had his choice, chose me.
It didn’t take us too long to find the perfect tree. It was a grand fir, the right height, attractive from every side, and pruned to a perfect shape. But it wasn’t calling loud enough. We noted its location and kept looking. Then we heard it; more accurately, Suzanne heard it first. It was a Fraser fir calling out to us. And it needed to be cut. It was encroaching on two adjacent baby frasers whose healthy growth would be threatened if it were not removed. The tree farmer had put it on sale; marked for destruction, one way or another it had to go. It seemed a bit less than perfect - untrimmed, rough edges, lumpy, but with character - sort of like me. And so we left the perfect grand fir standing and chose the fraser.
Tonight Suzanne is decorating the tree. No longer for sale, it is ours, it is beautiful (and becoming more so), and we are glad. It stands in our living room as a silent reminder of the miraculous grace of Christmas. I am less than perfect; I was marked for destruction; and God, who had his choice, chose me.